Power of Words

I am a words person. Good or bad, true or false, I will give precedence to words over what I receive via my other senses. Over the years as I have become more self aware, I have developed my ability to differentiate between true and false words using non verbal cues as well as my intuition. But words are still what resonate deeply in my heart and my strongest connection with the outside world.

Recently a friend posted this video link on Facebook. The speaker is Dr. Brene Brown, a researcher at the University of Houston.

It is quite a long video, but I encourage you to watch it if you haven’t already seen it. She has several more on YouTube on related topics which will help make the concepts she talks about even more clearer.

In this video clip, Dr. Brown mentions three important words that resonated very deeply within me.
I am enough“. I have read enough self help books to have come across these words before, but never  really understood what they actually meant. Dr. Brown talks about the difference between people who feel a deep sense of connection with other people and those that don’t. The ones that do, feel they are worthy of that connection while those that don’t feel they are not enough. Not tall enough, pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, smart enough and so the list goes. When you feel you are not enough, you feel a deep sense of shame. In order to overcome this shame and accept that you are enough, you need to be vulnerable and allow your authentic self to be seen with all your imperfections. And only then can you feel connected and have a sense of love and belonging.

Throughout our lives we get told we are not enough in some shape or form. I remember once taking my school report to my mum after having come 3rd in my class and being told “next time make sure you are first”. She reasoned that if she commended me for being 3rd, then I would stop striving. I remember my aunt bringing me a marriage proposal. She described the boy, his education and family background and then said “they don’t mind that the bride is not pretty”. Was I really supposed to want to marry a guy who thought I was not pretty even before we had met? Two days ago I was speaking to a relative, who was as dark complexioned as I was and she described two women. One she said was pretty and the other not, but then she qualified herself and said, “well, the first one wasn’t really pretty, but at least she was fair complexioned”. I don’t think she even realised how much she insulted both of us by that statement.

So it is no wonder that many of us go through life feeling like we are not enough and as a result feel a great sense of disconnection from those around us. We want to feel love and belonging, but as long as we hold onto those beliefs of inadequacy both about ourselves and others, they will continue to elude us.

I share this blog my Facebook page and I know some of you who know me wonder why I am putting so much of myself on here. The answer is simple; I know I am not perfect and I am not afraid to show it anymore. I am trying to speak from my heart and be as authentic as I can be. And if in that process, I can inspire you to do the same, then it would have been worth it.

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. A very inspiring read. You are perfect and enough just as you are. Sometimes we ate so hard on ourselves, we criticise and attack ourselves and don’t embrace all that is perfectly ever growing and evolving. Too often we allow others beliefs or way that they have treated us define how we think of ourselves and dictate how WE see ourselves. If only we could see the Simplicity and Beauty in all things. You are and always were and will be enough. Thank you for reminding me of this lesson x

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I thought I was a compassionate person, until I realised that I was not being compassionate to my own self. So I try view my own shortcomings with compassion and accept them. I do forget from time to time and indulge in self blame, but now I know to snap out of it as soon as I start.

      1. Forgiveness and compassion have been key for me recently. Keep up the good work 🙂

  2. Madhawa says:

    You know, I’m yet to come across a friend of mine who’s short of stunning beauty – got the point? Beauty is a full package, and in the heart of it is the heart of the person. People who cannot see this beauty around them, simply deserve pity. Walk the world, like the Miss Universe … at least that’s what I try to do :).

    1. Thanks my friend. And you know what, I believe you:)

  3. The idea of vulnerability, loving without a certain outcome
    Some skills to life a new life by
    Thanks for the reminder to be authentic and to connect

    1. Thank you for stopping by. Sometimes I don’t which is more difficult; being vulnerable or loving without a certain outcome. I guess if you don’t let yourself feel vulnerable, then you can’t give your love to someone with the knowledge there are no guarantees. So one has to follow the other……

  4. jPiroshky says:

    I also have some experiences where my family said to me, ‘you are strong and can do anything you want to do,’ but with a tacit ‘as long as it doesn’t make you look strange in the eyes of other people’. Now I realize that this undercurrent comes from a little fear, and a pain of feeling that what we really like or enjoy is not acceptable or must come after something we don’t like. It is exciting that I can live my life the way I would like it! ^_^

    1. Interesting perspective. In my culture when someone is laughing very hard, we say “careful, you know tears always follow laughter”….The same cautionary caveat on the happiness we are feeling at that moment.

      1. jPiroshky says:

        Yes! It’s so funny to watch such a person sometimes, because they can seem to do everything but actually take flight from the perch! ..And then I remember what it is like to feel like that ^_~

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