Christmas; in the English Tradition

It is Christmas Eve and I have finished all my shopping and all but one of the presents I bought for non family members have been distributed. The rest are piled up in the living room ready to be opened tomorrow morning. Jacob says he doesn’t believe that Santa Claus brings presents and says he knows mummy and daddy buy them. So they are all wrapped up and out in in the open as a mark of respect to his maturity. I don’t see the point of perpetuating the myth of Santa now that he has figured it all out. Yes it is a loss of innocence; but it is also a coming of age…

The Englishman and I have already given each other our main presents as we are both very practical people. His one was way too big to fit under the tree and and was delivered to his house about a month ago. Mine was required for a special event a few weeks ago and has already been used. When we talked about presents for opening on Christmas day he reminisced about the many stocking fillers his parents got for his brother and him, all scrunched up in used wrapping paper. So we have bought each other and Jacob a multitude of little gifts to fit into our stockings.

We do not have a tree set up at our house this year, but do have fairy lights outside and other decorations up inside to make the place look festive. Instead, the tree has been set up in the Englishman’s house, He has not had a tree for Christmas in the 5 years he had lived there and I thought it would be nice to share our tree with him. Last Friday, Jacob and I helped him decorate the tree, although Jacob’s main input was sitting on the couch and glancing at us from time to time when his attention could be drawn away from the computer.


Tomorrow morning Jacob will go to his dad’s house and then later in the day fly to Wellington to see his grandparents. The Englshman and I will go back to his place to cook the turkey with Cranberry and Chestnut stuffing with new potatoes and veges followed by a proper English Trifle for dessert.

It is a simple celebration, but is very special because other than last year when the Englishman celebrated Christmas with extended family in Hong Kong, ever since he came to New Zealand he had spent the day on his own. He said there hadn’t been anyone special enough to allow into what was a very sacred day for him as far as traditions go. So I am honoured he has chosen to celebrate it with me this year.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, today also marks the 6 month anniversary of our relationship. For two people in their forties starting out again that is a significant achievement. Life was so much simpler when you were younger. Now we are burdened with baggage from past relationships and set in our ways. Add two very stubborn and independent people to the mix and it is even harder.

I have spent the last 12 months on a spiritual journey and a lot of my writing in the first 6 months of this year had been about that journey. Lately I have been documenting the progress of this new relationship and have written very little about anything spiritual. Sometimes I wonder if this means I have stopped growing spiritually. But upon reflection I don’t think so. It is very easy to learn about yourself in abstract. But the harder lessons are learnt when you are actually living life for real. And that is what these last 6 months have been about; learning to apply the lessons I have figured out about myself to real life and hopefully avoid making the same kind of mistakes that I have made in the past. Lessons about being kind and compassionate, about being mindful,  about not sweating the small stuff, about living in the moment and about going with the flow. Sometimes I forget and react emotionally and go off on an angry tangent. But those mishaps have always been temporary and we somehow have managed to find ourselves back in the groove.

I want to wish all of you a very happy Christmas and hope that 2014 is filled with much happiness and joy and good health. But I also want to give a message of hope to everyone; it is possible to learn from your past and begin again. It is never too late to find happiness….Love to you all….:)


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Ahila says:

    Wish you a merry Christmas, Sandamali, and a wonderful New Year!

    1. Thank you Ahila. Merry Christmas to you and yours too. May 2014 be filled with joy……

  2. Wishing you, Jacob & Englishman a blessed Christmas, Sandamali. A nice post and written from the heart. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you Jess. Hope Christmas was everything you wanted it to be and all the best for 2014…

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