Following My Bliss

I had a collection of photos on my phone from the last few days that I wanted to use in my next blog update and was trying to think of an apt title for them when these words came to my mind….I was following my bliss….I feel happy and content and know that whatever happens I will be ok. The end of a relationship no longer meant that I had lost my one chance at happinesss. Instead, it has given me the freedom to pursue my dreams unhindered by other people’s fears and accumulated baggage.

On Wednesday, I had Jacob at home from school because his Teacher Aide was away on some training. I used the opportunity to take him to our favourite Thermal Pools about an hour’s drive from here. I had bought the vouchers back in June and they needed to be used by this weekend. We pretty much had the pool to ourselves given it was a school day and had an hour of bliss frolicking around in the water. Jacob loves swimming and this is the first chance he has had since last Summer. The pools are only 15 minutes from the Englishman’s house and although it had been a fun destination for Jacob and I long before we met him, once he came into our lives, we actually visited it less. This was because the Englishman hated putting on his togs and showing his body. The visit this week was almost a reclaiming of that destination for ourselves and separating it from the drive to the Englishman’s house. Two things I did take note of and was grateful for was being much more comfortable in making that drive out of Auckland after driving the route quite regularly for 15 months and knowing what this roadsign meant.

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The Englishman can claim credit for teaching me that it meant the open road speed limit applied.

One Thursday, I invited a friend to go for a walk with me at my favourite park. We walked for over an hour in light rain and caught up with each other’s news. A couple of times we stopped to admire our surroundings and couldn’t resist taking a picture of this beautiful pheasant…His mate who was not so good looking we chose to ignore…

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On Thursday afternoon I had the urge to go see “my dream house” again. So after picking Jacob up from school we went the beach across the road from the house and played for an hour…

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This is the best shot I could get of the actual house without looking like a creep acting suspiciously…All the windows in the front of the house overlook this lovely beach…..

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Jacob loves playing on this tree and as soon as we pull up he makes a beeline for the tyre swing…

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His second choice that day was this huge piece of driftwood that has washed up…..

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The last half an hour was spent collecting shells. We brought back a big bag full. I no not what we are going to do with it all, but that’s a minor consideration given how much fun he had. Another signfiicant event that afternoon on this black sand beach was I noticed for the very first time, Jacob being “big brother” to a 3 year old boy who was playing alongside him. He talked kindly and explained things to him and even shared some shells with him…I was so proud.

Still following my bliss, yesterday I bought myself a bunch of tulips…As I have mentioned it before, they are my favourite flower and the flowers meant just that bit more because they were a gift from me…

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Then finally in the evening I went to a vegetarian dinner with a group from meetup.com. We talked economics and spirtuality and lots of things in between. The staff struggled to cope with the big group of dinners and my order didn’t arrive till past 8.30pm. But I had eaten a small meal before leaving the house as I have learned to do and had a mango lassi as my drink, so managed to survive until then. I have felt the urge to cut down on my meat eating and move towards a more vegetarian diet for some time now. This was almost impossible to do with the red meat loving Englisman and the time before when he said he was breaking up with me, my first thought was “great! now I can stop eating meat”.

I hope I have demonstrated what I meant by my title. It is not about thumbing my nose at the Engishman and saying “hey, even though we broke up, I am happy and having fun”. Instead, it is about my self relationsation that choosing accept what has happened and going with the flow; life is less of a struggle and more of moments of joy…..

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