“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest: having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.”
~ Emery Allen
This was on a Facebook post by Elephant Love…
I have spent hundreds of dollars on therapy and read many many self help books to stop myself falling for guys that need fixing. Yet this message in its simplicity says to do the opposite. The sentiment expressed is beautiful. We as imperfect beings are healed by the love of someone who doesn’t see us as damaged and is capable of pouring their love into the empty spaces of our soul….
So which is correct? Does it matter if the guy we love is perfect just as he is or damaged in some shape or form and needs us to love him to accept he is worthy of being loved? Since I have been old enough to be interested in the opposite sex I seem to attract the waifs and strays. The ones that need lots of love. I read somewhere that this is because I didn’t consider myself worthy of being loved by someone already whole, so I picked a “do up” thinking if I fix them up, they will be so grateful that they would fall in love with me forever more. I am not sure that is correct. I think it comes down to several factors. I am a very loving person. I see through the facade most people hide behind and recognize the pure essence of the person inside. Often I see their pain and this is when I know I am in trouble; because I can never turn my back on someone I can connect to in this manner. Sometimes I do this at great personal cost. And very often, these “do ups” are not capable of loving me back.
My therapist wants me to identify those instances when I switch off my intuition and commonsense and choose to love someone who is incapable of loving me back yet again. A support group I belong to recommends I have a “bottom line” list to keep a watch out for so I don’t keep meeting the same sort of guys. I am building up my awareness and keeping a watch on my thoughts.It is a work in progress. And yet, I can’t help thinking how much nicer it is to look at life in the romantic way described in the quote I have shared above. If only when I have calmed their soul, they find it within themselves to love me back…….