What comes after letting go? A deep sense of peace and wholeness. Like the broken bits have finally healed.
I was sent a sign in the form of a long lost friend who looked me up on Facebook after 20 years the day after my last post. A few sentences into the conversation, she brought up the subject of mindfulness and letting go. We had barely begun to catch up on 20 years worth of stories, but as soon as the words popped up, I knew I had no option but to breathe, trust and let go.
As soon as I made the conscious decision that I was indeed letting go of the need to dictate to my friend who his friends should be and when he should see them and what the nature of those friendships should be, the confusion and uncertainty that had plagued me for the previous 48 hours disappeared. It was the not the same as giving in. I was not giving him a free pass to do whatever he wished and saying I would be ok with it. Rather, I was saying I trusted him to do the right thing for us and that I would stop trying to control his actions.
My act of letting go created this tremendous shift of energy, which is actually hard to describe. It was like we had broken through multiple barriers and were suddenly speaking to one another on the same side.
Spiritually, I felt if I had made any other decision but the one to let go, I would not have been true to myself.
I know not what the future holds for us. All I do know is that whatever happens, I would be ok. Nothing that could happen would diminish or harm me, so I no longer need to fear for the future.