After Letting Go

What comes after letting go? A deep sense of peace and wholeness. Like the broken bits have finally healed. I was sent a sign in the form of a long lost friend who looked me up on Facebook after 20 years the day after my last post. A few sentences into the conversation, she brought…

Finding Myself

I used to find myself through this blog, or at least I did when I first started writing. And then I lost my way. The blog no longer felt like it reflected the authentic me, the words dried up. If I trace it back in time, I think the change coincided with my breaking up with…

So much love

I was waiting to pick Jacob up from school today near the little kid’s playground watching children from the special needs class play while they waited for their parents. I had seen the mother of one little boy with Down’s Syndrome picking him up around the same time every day. What struck me today while…

Rocks..

When most women talk about precious and rock in the same sentence, they are referring to their diamonds.. For me however, this lump of rose quartz sitting on my bedside table is the most precious gift one can receive. It’s almost a year since I was admitted to hospital with a lot of pain and…

Enlightened Relationships

I spent the past few minutes reading through the pages of a diary from 1993. My diary from when I was working as an English Teacher in the small hamlet of Hinnapita, in rural Sri Lanka, while studying at University, 200km away. I have written about those experiences in earlier posts. Those few pages spoke…

The Invisible Woman

I haven’t felt much like writing for a few weeks. It has been a long hot summer in New Zealand and at first I was having way too much fun to find time to sit down and write. Then it got really busy with lots of scheduled medical appointments to take advantage of the school…

Life

I have been pondering the ebb and flow of life and how much things change over time. I can remember mere months ago having this gaping hole inside of me that yearned to be loved and to belong with someone, somewhere although I had no idea where. That kept me in the relationship with the Englishman…

Quantum Entanglement

Last week I did something I had never done before. Go to the cinema and watch a movie I had already seen once. The movie was Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar and the invitation from a friend who himself is an avid Sci Fi fan was too good to resist. So I found time in the middle…

The Cherry Blossom Tree

Every year in Spring, when the Cherry Blossom Trees are in flower We will remember you and think of what might have been Fleeting though your presence, you were a part of us all And your loss is hard to bear now as it was then Koala bears, Kangaroos and little Beefeater Bears Locked away…

Breathe, Trust and Let Go…

Since about 3 pm yesterday,I have been trying to do this. One of my medical specialists called with what could be some bad news. It’s one of those itsy bitsy pieces of a diagnostic puzzle that may suggest something is wrong, but they won’t know until they test further. I only told one person about it…

Shattering the Illusion

All this time, I talked to you as if you were a part of me. Yet if there was no me, how can there be a you? If every word and thought was a manifestation of my own mind Do you as I know you, really exist? Were there really agony and ecstasy? Or were they…