After Letting Go

What comes after letting go? A deep sense of peace and wholeness. Like the broken bits have finally healed. I was sent a sign in the form of a long lost friend who looked me up on Facebook after 20 years the day after my last post. A few sentences into the conversation, she brought…

Finding Myself

I used to find myself through this blog, or at least I did when I first started writing. And then I lost my way. The blog no longer felt like it reflected the authentic me, the words dried up. If I trace it back in time, I think the change coincided with my breaking up with…

Enlightened Relationships

I spent the past few minutes reading through the pages of a diary from 1993. My diary from when I was working as an English Teacher in the small hamlet of Hinnapita, in rural Sri Lanka, while studying at University, 200km away. I have written about those experiences in earlier posts. Those few pages spoke…

Using Unhappiness as Currency

My little Toyota Starlet, who will soon be a fully grown adult of 18 years, has been making some strange noises recently. On Christmas day, a friend who was in the car with me said it was possibly front left ball bearings. Last night, on the way back from dinner at a friend’s house half…

Progress

Things have settled down health-wise to a manageable level since my last post. I have cut down on a lot of things I used to do around the house and either get someone else to do it or do it in a way that puts the least amount of stress on my left arm and…

Change

So much has happened in my life in the past few weeks that I had wanted to write about, but I struggled to find the motivation. Today I realised that part of the reason why writing has suddenly become onerous is, sometimes I find myself reading back the sentence I had just written, only to…

The Invisible Woman

I haven’t felt much like writing for a few weeks. It has been a long hot summer in New Zealand and at first I was having way too much fun to find time to sit down and write. Then it got really busy with lots of scheduled medical appointments to take advantage of the school…

The First Time

The first half of the last week was extremely trying, but things have improved vastly. It was actually good to write about how I was feeling about my medical test results and own those feelings. Many friends and fellow bloggers from far and near reached out to offer support and I am truly grateful to…

Shattering the Illusion

All this time, I talked to you as if you were a part of me. Yet if there was no me, how can there be a you? If every word and thought was a manifestation of my own mind Do you as I know you, really exist? Were there really agony and ecstasy? Or were they…

Disconnection

All morning, I have had this overwhelming urge to go deep within myself. I feel an immense sense of disconnection with people and the world around me. Like some crack has opened up in my psyche and I need to curl up into a ball and keep safe, while I figure out what happened. The answer…

Acts of Love

It was an act of love… When I said “no” When I turned away When I refused to plead When I let go Because I have finally learned the art of self compassion….

Purpose

I certainly hope so….because today it feels like I have very far to go and I might never get there…..And my destination????